I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize