I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
