She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I would fuck him just for his dog
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