): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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