Are we in a gay sports bar?
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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