TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
