the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
