This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Randomize
