I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize