im gay
i know
yea but for you.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
We need to rekindle our bromance
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
