the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
