I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Randomize
