let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
