It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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