I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
