ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Vodka?
Forever.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
