I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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