Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
