Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
