I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
