And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
