Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize