omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
