I met the friendliest cop last night
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
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