I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
