How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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