Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
