How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
