I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
