I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Randomize