so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
