I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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