The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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