The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
