Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Randomize
