Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
My day in three words: secret purse cake
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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