please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
