Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
