put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
