sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Randomize
