dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
