went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
