I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Randomize
