If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I have grass duct taped all over my body
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
