The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
