i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
dude. I can hear the air.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
