The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
