Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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