Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
