at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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