Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Randomize