I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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