Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Randomize
