Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
