i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize