You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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