At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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