and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
