well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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