I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
do nipples grow back?
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