She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
50% drunk capacity currently
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
