i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
