Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
