My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
