I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
