I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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