whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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