She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
