i barfeds in our rink
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
