Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
